Instructions for Properly Hugging a Baby: |
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1. First, find a baby
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2. Second, be sure that the object you found was indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques. If you smell baby powder and the wonderful aroma of wet diapers, this is indeed a baby.
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3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process. **Note: The added slobber should help in future steps by making the "paw slide" easier.
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4. The "paw slide"- Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.
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5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to achieve the best photo quality.
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| Dogs, if this is properly done, it will secure you a warm, dry, climate-controlled environment for the rest of your life. Good Luck to all of you! |
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